Sometimes, it’s ok to not be ok!


(Photo by my lovely & talented friend, Rory)

So today I want to get real up in hurrr. (I actually began writing this post last week but then I got busy and felt guilty devoting my minimal free time to blogging, so it just sat here, almost finished, in my draft folder… until today when I read yet another brilliantly honest post from the lovely Krysten that inspired me to dig it out and post it up!)

My message? It’s OK, for whatever reason, to not always have your shit together! I know this but was completely unaware that I hadn’t exactly been portraying it. It was only whilst getting sent home from uni one day last week with a vision robbing, stress induced, beast of a migraine that a friend said to me, ‘it’s ok you know, you don’t need to have your shit together all of the time’. In my head I thought ‘eh? I barely have my shit together any of the time! Ha’ but if I have been parading around like I’m having an easy ride of it, living my life permanently in a sunny spot, then I’m sorry.

I’ve actually just realised something and that is that whilst I do consider myself an honest person (sometimes a little TOO honest! Ha!) and I would NEVER get up on this blog platform of mine and wax on about how great things are when they’re not, when I am feeling bad or super stressed, I just don’t blog. And I guess that’s just as damaging because it’s still only giving air time to the good stuff! Food for thought, for sure…

I do tend to have an eternally optimistic attitude and I can ALWAYS find something to be thankful for. The fact that myself, my friends and my family all have our health, is the most important thing, anything else is of secondary importance! I also believe in, 99% of the time, keeping things light and positive on social media platforms, and in any social situation really (unless I’m having a good old ‘set the world to rights’ chat with my best)! We all know that one person, or group of people, who just continually moan, right?! It just gets tedious, and it’s never about anything truly important. That being said I also like to keep things honest and life isn’t always full of the good stuff / instagram worthy / inspirational or motivational… sometimes it’s just a bit of a slog! I have coursework deadlines, relationship issues, work schedules, stresses, worries and bills mounting up, just like everyone else. Being a 20 something girl, living in London and trying to pay my way through uni whilst still making sure that myself and the dog dizzles have enough food to eat, is enough to give myself plenty of premature grey hairs, let me tell you!! Ha! It doesn’t help that I, like many of you out there, place an extreme amount of pressure on myself to succeed. I go to uni everyday and I’m surrounded by people who are exactly the same, which can be a blessing and a curse! It’s kind of a running joke between our tutors and us because when we’re nitpicking about something on a test they throw their hands up in the air and say ‘well, did you all really expect to get 100%?’ and we all respond, totally deadpan, ‘yes!’, it pretty much sums us up. It’s exactly the same with my athletic endeavours, I so badly want to be the best that I can be but unfortunately I can’t devote my entire day to 6 hour rides or 3 sessions with nothing but rest and refuelling in between. It’s about doing what you can and making the best of what you have at your disposal. If that’s a spare hour at some ungodly time in the morning, then use it! If it’s nothing because you’re totally wiped after working a 12 hour shift then that’s fine too! It doesn’t mean that you should beat yourself up or feel any less awesome! It’s just real life!

I guess what I’m saying is that we all just need to give ourselves a big.fat.break and just ask for help if we need it, it is not a sign of weakness! We’re not here to impress anyone, that’s certainly not why I started blogging!! If I learnt anything from almost two years blogging over at Oat Couture it’s that this is a wonderful, supportive and giving community, if only you let it be. So, to hell with the Stepford Wives-esque routine and hoo rahhh to being a little more honest!

Life can be ugly at times, but that doesn’t make it any less of a gift! You’ll be surprised at just how many people are going through similar things to you and can offer words of advice, encouragement and if you’re lucky enough to live close to your blog/real life friends, a tonne of wine fun times – cause let’s face it we can always do to drink laugh a little more! 😉

Lots of love, Hayley